Nasiya Farsa

2011-09-06T21:41:00.000-07:00

dard minnat-kash-e-dawa na hua
main na achha hua bura na hua
[minnat-kash-e-dawa = obliged to medicine]

jama'a karte ho kyun raqeebon ka?
ik tamasha hua, gila na hua
[raqeeb = opponent]

jaan dee, dee huee usi ki thee
haq to ye hai ki haq adaa na huaa

zakhm gar dab gaya, lahoo na thama
kaam gar ruk gaya, rawa na hua
[rawa = right/lawful]

rahzanee hai ki dil-sitaanee hai?
le ke dil dil-sitaan rawa na huaa
[dil-sitaan = lover, rawa = agree/admissible]

- Ghalib

2011-08-18T00:08:00.000-07:00

Rubaiyat
I sent my soul into the invisible,
Some letter of that after-life to spell.
And by and by my soul returned to me
And answered, I myself am Heaven and Hell.
- Omar Khayyam (Rubaiyat)

2011-08-01T06:04:00.000-07:00

If Only

If only the saplings were not uprooted

and planted again under the hot sun

If only the breeze was a little softer

and known paths of lilies and roses did run

If only the clouds had a li'l more mercy

to shed more than two drops of rain

If only this life was shorter

it would have had a little less pain

If only the song was sweeter

if only the roses were red

if only luck more than glanced this way

if only life was more than dead

2011-06-21T12:05:00.000-07:00

shikavaa karuu.N mai.n kab tak us apane meharabaa.N kaa

shikavaa karuu.N mai.n kab tak us apane meharabaa.N kaa
al-qissaa raftaa raftaa dushman huaa hai jaa.N kaa

(how long can I complain of my friend, kind and wise
step by step he has grown into an enemy of my life)

dii aag rang-e-gul ne vaa.N ai sabaa chaman ko
yaa.N ham jale qafas me.n sun haal aashiyaa.N kaa

(The grove by set ablaze by the brilliant hues of the bloom
Anxious in our prison,we heard the fate of our nest)

- Meer

2011-06-18T03:43:00.000-07:00

Stanislas - le manége

Un tour de manège
Autour de nos vies
Nos vies
Qui tournent en rond
Un tour de magie
Pour voir
Si le voyage
Vaut le coup

Un tour de manège
Autour de nous qui
Tournons autour de nous
Un tour de toupie
Pour voir
Si notre amour
Vaut le tour
Voir si notre amour
Vaut le tour

Tourne
Tourne
Tourne
Tourne

Refrain:

Ce beau manège
Ce grand manège
Me met la tête
À l’envers
Me met la tête
À lenvers

Ce beau manège
Ce grand manège
Me met le cœur
En l’air
Me met le cœur
en l'air

La la la la la la

Un tour de manège
Autour de nous qui
Prenons tous les détours
Un tour de tournis
Pour voir
Si le voyage
Vaut le coup
Un tour de manège
Autour de nos vies
Qui montent et qui descendent
Un tour de looping
Pour voir
Si notre amour
Vaut le tour
Voir si notre amour
Vaut le tour

Tourne
Tourne
Tourne
Tourne

Refrain x2:

Ce beau manège
Ce grand manège
Me met la tête
À l’envers
Me met la tête
À l'envers

La la la la la la

Ce beau manège
Ce grand manège
Me met le cœur
En l’air
Me met le cœur
En l'air

La la la la la la ...

Me met la tête
À l'envers

La la la la la la

Ce beau manège
Ce grand manège
Me met le cœur
En l’air
Me met le cœur
En l'air

La la la la la la ....

2011-06-16T13:32:00.000-07:00

Mon amie la rose

On est bien peu de chose
Et mon amie la rose
Me l'a dit ce matin
A l'aurore je suis née
Baptisée de rosée
Je me suis épanouie
Heureuse et amoureuse
Aux rayons du soleil
Me suis fermée la nuit
Me suis réveillée vieille

Pourtant j'étais très belle
Oui j'étais la plus belle
Des fleurs de ton jardin

On est bien peu de chose
Et mon amie la rose
Me l'a dit ce matin
Vois le dieu qui m'a faite
Me fait courber la tête
Et je sens que je tombe
Et je sens que je tombe
Mon cœur est presque nu
J'ai le pied dans la tombe
Déjà je ne suis plus

Tu m'admirais hier
Et je serai poussière
Pour toujours demain.

On est bien peu de chose
Et mon amie la rose
Est morte ce matin
La lune cette nuit
A veillé mon amie
Moi en rêve j'ai vu
Eblouissante et nue
Son âme qui dansait
Bien au-delà des nues
Et qui me souriait

Crois celui qui peut croire
Moi, j'ai besoin d'espoir
Sinon je ne suis rien

Ou bien si peu de chose
C'est mon amie la rose
Qui l'a dit hier matin

- Françoise Hardy

2010-04-06T14:27:00.000-07:00

Lazy Afternoons

The other day I stepped outside
when I heard the birds chirrup
and saw the petals glitter
it made my memory fly

back to the days of Lazy afternoons
when the wind was warm
and the ground firm under the feet
and the colors lit the eye

those swings in the backyard
fresh flowers every morning
dew drops on each petal
calm running by

those cheerful evenings
when people talked
of days that went and were to come
who knew what was to sigh

And now I stand here
in an unknown world
killing each second of the passing time
who knows who is alive.

2010-02-21T18:55:00.000-08:00

An excerpt from a letter...

...I knw wat u r feeling... In every point in our initial life everything is planned... We know exactly kya karna hai...
School college me syllabus hota hai and everything goes more or less the same way for everyone...

But when we move out to the field, things r different... We meet many people... We see many things... And then at the point where u r... our mind says wat next... And when it doesn’t find anything we get this wiered feeling ki yaar kya... Then we start looking at others and the we start thinking ki un logon ki life me jo hai wo hamari life me kyun nahi hai... The ans is ki kyunki hamari life me jo hai wo unki life me nahi hai...

The golden rule is... Never keep ur mind empty and aimless... Always spend some time alone thinking... What is it that matters to you and what is it that you want to do next... And then work for it... Don’t let go of things...

Life is like an ocean... There will be many tides... High and low... The best way is to cherish for what we have... To work for what we want... And not to give up... do not get bogged down by situations or people... keep talking to your family and friends...

And whenever you feel alone... Remember that it is just a phase that will pass... Fill it with memories that you would want to cherish all your life... Rather than with things that you would regret later...

We are the painters of our own drawingbook of life... We will get many new and fresh pages to paint... We hold the brush and we are capable of painting what we want... Do not waste the colors and the pages... And do not waste time, feelings and thoughts... Do not waste life thinking about things that are not worthwhile...

Think of ways that will make you and the people around you happy... And when u want something... Work for it...

Love u... Lots and lots... I read somewhere on the side of a road ripped apart "Work in progress... For a better tomorrow..." So when u feel not so great... Remember... this phase is work is progress for a better tomorrow...

So gal rock and roll and enjoy... Chak de phatte... Rock the world... Show them what u got... Stun them... Thrill them... Be happy gal...

And we all love you...

2009-10-08T02:17:00.000-07:00

Awargi
ye dil ye pagal dil mera, kyon bujh gaya aawargi
is dasht mein ik shahar tha, vo kya hua aawargi...
kal shab mujhe be-shakl si, aawaaz ne chaunka diya
main ne kaha tu kaun hai, usne kahaa aawargi...
ik ajnabi jhonke ne jab, pucha mere gam ka sabab
seheran' ki bheegi ret par, main ne likha aawargi...
Ye dard ki tanhaaiyaan, ye dasht ka veeran safar
hum log to uktaa gaye, apni sunaa aawargi...
logon bhalaa uss shahar mei, kaise jiyenge hum jahaan
ho jurm tanhaa sochnaa, lekin sazaa aawaargi...
- Ghulam ALi

2009-10-07T09:09:00.000-07:00

Daisies

At evening when I go to bed
I see the stars shine overhead;
They are the little daisies white
That dot the meadow of the Night.

And often while I'm dreaming so,
Across the sky the Moon will go;
It is a lady, sweet and fair,
Who comes to gather daisies there.

For, when at morning I arise,
There's not a star left in the skies;
She's picked them all and dropped them down
Into the meadows of the town.

- Evaleen Stein

2009-09-17T23:47:00.000-07:00

Autumn
this sun-kissed air, o' so warm
these flowers with so dark a hue
what's filling up this world with magic
is it the autumn or is it you...
this gush of spirits in the veins
this pearlish glow in every dew
these daisies scattered everywhere
it's not the autumn, I know it's you...

2009-09-14T10:20:00.000-07:00

Me and My Rainshadow

And where I end the wind begins,
the me you know is just my rainshadow...

Belly of the sky has split the gates of rain open
yet I linger with by finger on the beach
and the black wind blows for me alone
and this moment is a stone
so its sinking out of reach

I pull the chain to drain
the color from the sun when day is done
and ride beside the evening
with my arms around the moon
I hear the lonely laundry hiss
and listing letters on the line
the words I am someone

And where I end the wind begins,
the me you know is just my rainshadow...

2009-03-14T23:59:00.000-07:00

De hava da jeevan saahnu

De hava da jeevan saahnu,
Sada khoj vich raheeye.

Har dam talab sajan di kareeye,
ThaNDHe kadi na paeeye.
JaNgal gaaheeye, retaR vaaheeye,
Naal pahaaRaaN khaheeye.
Ikko saahe bhajde jaaeeye,
Kise paRa na laheeye.
Dekh mulaaim sej phulaaN di,
Dharna maar na baheeye.
Sau raNgaaN de vichoN laNgh ke
Phir vi beraNg raheeye.
Je koi bulbul haakaaN maare
Kan vich uNgalaN daeeye.
Je koi kaNDa palla pakaRe,
CHaDeeye te nhas paeeye.

De hava da jeevan saahnu,
Sada khoj vich raheeye.

- old Punjabi Sufi creation

2008-11-30T09:13:00.000-08:00

The Lesser Celandine
There is a Flower, the Lesser Celandine,
That shrinks, like many more, from cold and rain;
And, the first moment that the sun may shine,
Bright as the sun himself, 'tis out again!
When hailstones have been falling, swarm on swarm,
Or blasts the green field and the trees distressed,
Oft have I seen it muffled up from harm,
In close self-shelter, like a Thing at rest.
But lately, one rough day, this Flower I passed,
And recognized it, though an altered form,
Now standing forth an offering to the blast,
And buffeted at will by rain and storm.
I stopped, and said, with inly-muttered voice,
"It doth not love the shower, nor seek the cold:
This neither is its courage nor its choice,
But its necessity in being old."
The sunshine may not cheer it, nor the dew;
It cannot help itself in its decay;
Stiff in its members, withered, changed of hue."
And, in my spleen, I smiled that it was grey.
To be a Prodigal's Favourite -then, worse truth,
A Miser's Pensioner -behold our lot!
O Man, that from thy fair and shining youth
Age might but take the things Youth needed not!

2008-09-24T08:19:00.000-07:00

My heart leaps up when I behold,
A rainbow in the sky:
So was it when my life began,
So is it now I am a man,
So be it when I shall grow old,
Or let me die!
- William Wordsworth

2008-08-18T22:02:00.000-07:00

Guide (1965) - Dev Anand's Famous Dialogues
Aaj Mai Kitani Aajadi Mehsoos Kar Raha Hoon!
Jism Jaise Maange Karna Bhool Gaya;
Man Tadpana - Tadpaana Bhool Gaya;
Jeevan Aaj Jaise Mutthi Me Hai !
Maut Jaise Ek Khel Hai!L
agta Hai Aaj Har Iccha Puri Ho Gayi....
Per Ab Maja Dekho, Aaj Koi Iccha Hi Nahi Rahi !
Jindagi Pighalkar Prakash Ban Gayi.....
Aur Sacchaai Mera Roop Hai !
Tan Rahe Na Rahe , Mai Rahoonga!
Aag Me Phek Do, Mai Jalunga Nahi!
Talwaar Se Vaar Karo, Mai Katunga Nahi!
Tum Ahankaar Ho, Tumko Marna Hoga;
Mai Aatma Hoon, Amar Hoon!
Maut Ye Khayaal Hai Jaise Jindagi ye Khayaal Hai !
Na Sukh hai, Na Dukh Hai
Na Deen Hai, Na Duniya
Na Insaan , Na Bhagvaan
Sirf Mai Hoon, Mai Hoon, Mai Hoon,
Mai Hoon...Mai ..Sirf Mai !!--- Guide (1965)

2008-02-26T23:22:00.000-08:00

chalo man ganga jamuna teer

chalo man ganga jamuna teer
ganga jamuna nirmal paani
seetal hot sareer

bansi bajawat gawat kanha
sang liye balbeer
chalo man ganga jamuna teer

mor mukut pitambar sohe
kundal chaltak heer
chalo man ganga jamuna teer

meera kahe prabhu giridhar nagar
charan kamal...

- Meera Bai

2008-01-31T17:39:00.000-08:00

Man Atkeia Beparwa De Nal

Man Atkeya Beparwah de Nal
Us deen duni de shah de nal

Wasdi har dam mann mere wich,
soorat yar pyare di
apne shah nu ap rajawan,
hajat nai pasaray di
kahe husain faqeer numanrha,
theewan khaak daware di

Man atkeya beparwah de nal
Us deen duni de shah de nal

Qazi mullah matti dende
kharay sayane rah dasende
ishq kee laggi rah de nal
Man atkeya beparwah de nal

Nadiyon paar ranjhan da thhana
keetay qol zaroori jana
mintaan karan mallah de nal
Man atkeya beparwah de nal

us deen duni de shah de nal
Sajan bin raatan hoian waddiyan
ranjha jogi mein jogiani
kamli kar kar saddyan
sajan bin raatan hoian waddiyan
mein han ayani nooh kee jana
birhon tanawan gaddiyan
Sajan bin raatan hoian waddiyan

kahe husain faqeer sayein da
dar te chholian addiyan mein
uss deen duni de shah de nal
Man atkeya beparwah de nal

kahe husain faqeer numanrha
sache sahib nu mein jana
aurhak kam Allah de nal
Man atkeya beparwah de nal
Us deen duni de shah de nal

Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan

2007-12-29T02:46:00.000-08:00

TO AN OCTOGENARIAN

AFFECTIONS lose their object; Time brings forth
No successors; and, lodged in memory,
If love exist no longer, it must die,--
Wanting accustomed food, must pass from earth,
Or never hope to reach a second birth.
This sad belief, the happiest that is left
To thousands, share not Thou; howe'er bereft,
Scorned, or neglected, fear not such a dearth.
Though poor and destitute of friends thou art,
Perhaps the sole survivor of thy race,
One to whom Heaven assigns that mournful part
The utmost solitude of age to face,
Still shall be left some corner of the heart
Where Love for living Thing can find a place.

- William Wordsworth

2007-02-18T19:28:00.000-08:00

2007-02-01T04:06:00.000-08:00

A Few Lines

Following are the lines that constituted my last mail of my First Innings in Infy. Just felt like going through these today.

“Life is a journey.
The world, an endless road that never sleeps.
Time, a night that never breaks into dawn…
…What keeps us alive and awake are burning dreams in our eyes” - Gulzaar

These dreams force us to move on and so, I move on, on this endless road.

It’s time for me to go. These one and a half years of my life have been a fabulous part of this journey. I will cherish it the rest of my life.

Hope we meet again on this road…

Till then take care, good luck and God bless us all…

Chandni

2006-07-06T06:55:00.000-07:00

ashq aaNkhoN meN kab nahiN aatA
lahu aatA hai jab nahiN aatA
[ashq = tears] [lahu = blood]
hosh jaatA nahiN rahA lekin
jab woh aatA hai tab nahiN aatA
dil se ruKHsat hui koi KHwahish
griyaa kuchh be-sabab nahiN aatA
[ruKHsat = depart] [KHwahish = desire]
[griyaa = weeping] [be-sabab = without reason]
'ishq ka HausalA hai shart warna baat
ka kis ko Dhab nahiN aatA
[Hausala = capacity] [Dhab = way/style]
ji meN kyA-kyA hai apne ai hamdam
har suKHan taa ba-lab nahiN aatA
[suKHan = speech] [taa = but]
[ba-lab = till the lips]
-Meer

2006-07-06T06:54:00.000-07:00

idhar se abr uThkar jo gayaa hai
hamaarI KHaak par bhI ro gayaa hai
[abr = cloud]
mas'aib aur the par dil kaa jaanaa
ajab ik saanihaa saa ho gayaa hai
[mas'aib = difficulties, troubles, travails]
[saanihaa = accident]
muqaamir-KHaanaa-e-aafaaq wo hai
ke jo aayaa hai yaaN kuchh kho gayaa hai
[muqaamir-KHaanaa = gambling house]
[aafaaq = world]
sarhaane "Meer" ke aahistaa bolo
abhI Tuk rote-rote so gayaa hai
-Meer

2006-04-03T02:53:00.000-07:00

With a heavy heart

I leave. I came, I saw and now I leave. There is so much to say that saying it all will take a lot of time and space but still I want to say it cause this is the moment. Time has come. Time of transition. Yes, one more transition.

The last one was when I had come to Infy. To a totally new place, clueless about it. I still remember when for the first time I was sleeping with a complete stranger (Rashi) in the room. I have my own way of doubting ppl and I had this weired thought that she might be a psycho who might actually kill me while I was sleeping.

And then I remember the face of my father when I was leaving for office and that was the first time in his life when he had to let go. He was praying.

And then the first time I had a look at Infosys Mysore. It was beautiful. Flowers, trees grass, pathways, buildings everything was well structured and beautiful.

The first day at ILI, I felt as if I was here by mistake. I wasnt gud enough to be here. Everybody else was knowledged except me. I proved myself wrong by clearing Compri with third highest matks in the class with all A grades. The person with the second highest marks was Robin. I dint knw him then.

Those were the days.
Rains, thunderous rains, and we would go from Food Court to Hostel Rooms singing songs, playing jokes under those huge umbrellas and still get wet. I loved that rain.That muggofying stuff. gobbling up things like anything. Thanks to Neha and Mohit. without them I would have been nowhere. And the way Smita and Rashi would drown themselves in books. I hated that part of them. The Bandipur Sanctury trip. That gobbling up of Breakfast and rushing for class. And learning java for the first time. That was good.

The postings.
I got posted in Mysore (luckily with Neha and Mohit). I shed a bucketful of tears. Mysore is shit. no place to live. its so sleepy. u dnt get anything here. Initially around 25 ppl were posted here but then 10 got reposted and only 14 of us were left. And I cried double.

Finding Home.
There were five girls left. Neha and I were frnds. Rumana and Shruti knew each other. Preety was the only girl from her group. Luckily Robin (her trng frnd) also got posted there. Must have been a tough time for her. Then there was Pari (Parikshit), famous as a big flirt of the training batch (and he lives up to the reputation), two Mohits (garg and joshi), naveen, vipin and rahul mehta. We found a set of flats in yadavgiri. ours was on first floor, the guys' was on ground. Rahul and Robin found a home near ours. Yadavgiri seemed like a dull place at that time.

Office.
I was tryign my best for a swap but things dint work out. I finally landed up in PLM ECU. God Bless me. A nice pack of fresh joinees there. Soon I found a set of nice frnds in them. The Coorg trip. That was a wonderful trip we went for. That place is just too beautiful. And all the people were great too. That was the peak. The next week Shriti got to know that she was being transffered. Then Siva got transffered. Then Shobana, toolika. So many of them in a small time span. Things were getting difficult in office. No projects were coming in. There seemed no future.

Rommies.
Shruti got transffered to Blore. Four of us were left. And gradually a bond developed. we started understanding each other and liking each other the way we were. Everybody put in a lot of effort in collecting stuff for home.And it felt good to come back home and to watch TV and try cooking a dish or two on the weekends. But then Rumana and Preety got involved in a Hard Core development project and they would hardly spend anytime home. And Neha opted for the afternoon shift. So, we began to see less of each other. I would only meet Robin and Preety during lunch hours.

Java.
Robin and Chetan suggested to go for Java Certification. I prepared. relentlessly. day and night. I wanted to get out of that mess in office.

Lonliness.
Since most of the people were busy, I would do things to pass time on my own. I would cook:-). I would go out for stralls in the mornings and sometimes in the evenings. And I realized what a beautiful place Mysore was. Once I was going to give clothes for Ironing. And I saw the red flowers under my feet. And I looked around. That was the first time I realized how beutiful Mysore was. And now I revere it for the same.I would dance at evenings carefree. That was freedom. Utter freedom.

Rains.
And once I deliberately got completely drenched in rain. The Mysore rains are wonderful. They fall with full force. And its lovely.

Friends.
Sometimes we would spend the entire night gossiping, giggling. Saw many places. CCD, Pizza Hut. Robin would keep talking about some high level stuff. That made me raise my bar. And the rides in Pari's Car with his silly songs playing (toot gayi chudiyan kalayi main). Rumana and I would laugh like anything. The best part was our trip to Waynaad. Once again hats off to Neha for arranging it. We went total mad during that. Pari babaji and Robin babaji. And that 'Come to me..' and that 'arririrara u' of theirs.

Moving On.
Trips bring ppl close. But when they end, mostly ppl depart. Neha was leaving for Sapient. I was being transffered to Blore. My work life was going nowhere. My request for PU change was not entertained and I had decided to leave infy. I had cleared Java Certification. From Bangalore it would be easy to look for another job.

Leaving Mysore.
I cried, cried and cried. I was gonna miss the stralls, the silent hours I would spend on the roof, contemplating and looking at Chamundi and the hills, the mad dancing and the circle of frnds.Luckily all of us left around the same time.

Bangalore.
No place to live. Overcrowded. At least the part I got exposed to was like this. Lots of traffic. Most of the time was eaten up by travelling. Not safe enough to go for stralls. small homes. No personal space. No roof also. I wanted to get out of it. It was killing whatever was left in me.

Resignation.
Finally I got a job. I was going to Sapient.

Leaving South.
I went to Mysore (I hadn't known I will) to pack the remaining stuff and get it sent to Delhi. I met Robin and Preety and cried. I am gonna miss the time spent together on Robin's balcony that day all my life. That cool breeze, that sound of coconut trees. Life lies here, in such moments. I departed with a heavy heart.

Leaving...
Its time to depart. With a heavy heart, I move on. I had never known what this phrase actually meant until now. I had never realized that a person could actually experience the inability of words to describe a feeling. What I am feeling now can not be stated, it can only be felt and understood. I am gonna miss this time, and I pray to God that he brings us to even better, happier and more beautiful times.

2005-12-29T23:20:00.000-08:00

The Year 2005

What to say? It was a year that gave me some of the most wonderful memories I will cherish forever.

Work. Let me not get into that or else my mood will be ruined. This is the end of this wonderful year and I wanna escape from the monotone and ENJOYYYYYYYYYYyyyy

What to say? Now that I look at it

Travel. I am a travel freak and am crazy about exploring new places. In 2005 I saw one of the most beautiful places I had ever seen. So different and hence so beautiful.

Mysore: One lovely, calm, quiet place. It took me a while to adjust to the saturdays half days and sundays off attitude of shopkeepers (including Chemists). But then I felt the presence of green trees, colourful flowers, fresh air, simple people (not all of them ;-) but many) .

Coorg: Wo man, I have no words to explain the beauty of it. Its like a younger cousin of Mysore. Water, water everywhere and I just fell in love with that place.

Belur and Halebeedu: Saw stunning temples, awesome carvings and craftsmenship. Each statue was carved out keeping in mind microscopic details and had a different story to tell. The first time I realized what it is to love one's work and to spend one's entire life in creating a piece of art and striving for excellence. And that huge statue at the end of a seemingly never ending array of stairs silently says "Every lonliness is a Pinnacle".

Friends. Friends, ppl that I had missed most during my college days. I thank God for giving me so many lovely friends this year.
Neha: There were times when I din't like some of her ways and ideas and would nurse bouts of anger for her but then things changed and I realized that basically she was a sweet girl with a pure heart. Now I know the reason for those ways and ideas of hers, so I understand. And I love her a lot.
Rashi: One lovely girl who cares about each and every friend more than she cares about herself. I love this lady as well and revere her selfless friendship.Amit: I kind of rediscovered him. A person good at heart.
Sandeep: Was this the same Sandeep from the college? He certainly dint seem like. Had such rocking time with him (i.e. on msn :-))
Smita, Preety, Mohit, Robin, Siva, Shobana, Amit, Anshu, Sahil. All wonderful ppl who made lovely contributions to my life.
And my dear
Ruchi: My Best friend ever, always has been and always will be. Whenever pissed off, I have called her up and she waves her magic wand and gives me some nice scoldings and brings me back on track. I love her. I seriously LOVE her.

Collegues. It is so important that you have good people working around you or else life becomes pretty messy. Chetan and Khushal, two people I would like to thank from the bottom of my heart. Always insipring and always helping. Swathi, Bhagya and Sandeep, it was so gud to have them.

Parties:-). People thought I was a calm, quiet, shy girl who liked solace. Well, they were wrong :-). This year everytime was Party Time. This was a year of Bowling, Go Carting, Discs, Five Star Restaurants, CCDs, Pizza Huts and Ebony and also of Green Leaf and Rasoi :-).
That hitch of what will people think was gone. Cause I was amongst people who neither knew me nor my family. So why Bother? Enjoyyyyyyy:-)

Workouts. Aerobics, swimming, gym, jogging. I did it all. But still my weight is 2 kgs more than what it was last year. Thats ok.

Work. I found something nice to say about it :-). Well each one of my seniors and collegues had one common thing to ay about me, that I was passionate about my work. Its true and I am glad it shows. In fact I am so much passionate that I fought with my GPM over not having good work to do. GOD. Well thats me. I have excelled in the art of controlled display of emotions but I guess I still need to work on it.

Family. Missed them, missed them, missed them and fell in love with them all over again :-) esp. Rishu, Shivam, Nannu and Dadaji.

What else?

Some other things. But these are the things of 2005 that I will remember throughout my life. Had a great time. Waiting for the next year. I hope that the next year be even more wonderful and may it bring tonns of happiness in all our lives. God Bless Us All...

2005-10-07T03:12:00.000-07:00

Ghar

When I was born I had no idea about absolutely anything.

When I was a few years old, the word 'Home' meant a place from where we were not supposed to leave without mummy, papa or some other elder. They would carry us in their arms. We would feel secure. We could look aroud, see the world, without getting tired, without having to walk, cause somebody else's feet were taking the strain away from our feet. We would swim in the ocean of the world and return 'Home', where we would be released from the safety of our parents' arms to the safety of 'Home'. We could run around, play with toys, crumple the bed sheets, make faces when papa would kiss us cause his beard hurt. We simply had to stand and mummy would put the frock and sandals.

When I was few more years old, 'Home' was a place where we were supposed to return before the night fell. Where mummy would have prepared the delicious food (at that time we might not have realized what is meant by delicious food, cause we had never eaten not-so-delicious food). Before going to sleep, papa would tell us funny stories, mummy would tell us stories full of intelligence that would leave us awestruck and dadaji would tell us excerpts from Ramayana, leaving us to decipher the meanings of the incidents and to choose the path we would like to follow in our lives. My favorite excerpt was the construction of the bridge across the sea. Also, when Lord Rama is able to lift the bow.

When I was a few more years old, 'Home' was where we came back from school, had our lunch, had the afternoon nap before we went out to play. We would come back, do our homework, thrust down milk down our throats convincing mummy after every sip that another sip was impossible. Where we would pester mummy to make 'Maggie' when we would get fed up of eating vegetables and chapatis. Where we would wait for papa to come from office (all I knew about office was that it was a place where grownups go to do some work) and bring us gifts. Where we would have the dinner while watching TV. Where we would go to sleep.

When I was a few more years old, 'Home' was where we would drop in when we were not in college, or freaking out with friends. And when we were there, we would keep chatting with our friends on phone for hours, completely ignoring the mummy's words to put the phone down. Where we would study on the night before the exam till 3 in the morning asking mummy to wake us up at 5 and simultaneously praying to God to save us this time and that this would never happen again. Where we would eat mummy's puri aalo, kheer, kulfi, gulabjamun, halwa and every wonderful dish in the world. From where we would call papa every half an hour to remind him to come home early cause he had to take us out for a movie.

When I was a few more years old, 'Home' was a place I was going far away from. Far far away, to a place where I knew nobody, no friends, no relatives. Where I was leaving behind mummy, papa, my family.

And today, 'Home' is in my joys, my tears, my breaths, my steps, my body, my soul. I am a part of my home. Home is a living breathing entity. It is made up of people, incidents, stories, games, toys, hugs, sleep, arms, 'pathetic tasting' milk and 'delicious' maggie.

I miss you 'HOME'.

2005-10-06T00:05:00.000-07:00

Nasiya Farsa

"Lazim tha ki daikho mera rasta koi din aur
Tanha gai kiyon, ab raho tanha koi din aur
Mit Jayega sir gar tera patthar na ghisega,
hoon dar pe tere nasiya farsa koi din aur"

Fate had it written that you wait for me many more days,
Why did you go alone, now stay alone many more days,
This head will blow away if it will not rub the stone at your feet,
So, I will bow at your grace many more days

2005-10-05T03:08:00.000-07:00

Hey I got a 'B'

Just one month was left in my completing a year at Infy and boy, there are no words in the universe that can explain the anxiety that I was feeling. 'Anxiety', because I din't know the confirmation grade that I would be getting.

I had worked hard. I might not have done something exceptionally great but I had done many small small exceptional things. But the problem was: Would those be noticed, would those be remembered??? Well, the odds against 'yes' as an answer to this question were many.

I had worked under five managers, one of them out of the company now and two of them onsite. Who would stand for me? Who would convince the SPM that I deserved the better grade.

Actually it's not about grades, it's about the satisfaction you get when your efforts get noticed.

And I was damn sure that mine would definitely not be. Besides, the other ppl who were getting confirmed with me were also gud, and everything was relative. So... :-(

Then one fine day I got to know that Seema would be finalizing the list of ppl based on how they fare compared to each other. And I said to myself, shit man, she has worked with half of them and knows what good things they have done, but she has no clue about the good things done by me.

Then we had a meeting in which I was told my strengths and weeknesses. And lo and behold, Sandeep (one of my managers) said that I needed to put in more effort for knowledge sharing. And beleive me Sandeep I felt like giving you a punch in your stomach. (I hope Sandeep will forgive me for being so childish, but thats me :-)))

By this time I was convinced that my chances of getting a B were nill, none, '-infinite'; so I decided not to think about it and concentrate on other things.

But I am a human being after all. So, I came up with a list of all the arguements that I would place in front of my SPM when I get a C. And all the crap things that I would do.

Life moved on. I was prepared for the cruel reality that I will have to face in the first week of October.

On Sept 30, I was eating the stale pizza of Toot-C when I got a call from Debu. He said that the grades were out. At first I thought that he was kidding but then, Neha called and told me the same. She offered to see the grade for me but I refused as I wanted to see the grades myself (Yes, I am very very superstitious).

I thought I will finish that pizza and go to Infy. But the pizza just wont get down my throat. I threw it in the bin and got up to leave.

At that moment the last straw in me gave in. What was the point in going so far just to see the C grade. So I called up Neha, gave her my password and asked her to check my grade.

And she said 'Tera B hai' (yours is B). I thought I had heard it wrong so I asked her to repeat. And this time I thought she said it wrong. So I asked her to say it once again. And this time I thought she had seen it wrong. So I said, 'Arey kya keh rahi hai, theek se dekh' (What r u saying, see properly).

She said, 'haan haan tera hi dekh rahi hoon, its B'. I screamed with joy and boy, was it loud. It was total numbness and ecstasy. My effort had not gone wasted. And a mile long smile got pasted on my face. My mind stopped thinking. It was complete bliss.