Ghar

When I was born I had no idea about absolutely anything.

When I was a few years old, the word 'Home' meant a place from where we were not supposed to leave without mummy, papa or some other elder. They would carry us in their arms. We would feel secure. We could look aroud, see the world, without getting tired, without having to walk, cause somebody else's feet were taking the strain away from our feet. We would swim in the ocean of the world and return 'Home', where we would be released from the safety of our parents' arms to the safety of 'Home'. We could run around, play with toys, crumple the bed sheets, make faces when papa would kiss us cause his beard hurt. We simply had to stand and mummy would put the frock and sandals.

When I was few more years old, 'Home' was a place where we were supposed to return before the night fell. Where mummy would have prepared the delicious food (at that time we might not have realized what is meant by delicious food, cause we had never eaten not-so-delicious food). Before going to sleep, papa would tell us funny stories, mummy would tell us stories full of intelligence that would leave us awestruck and dadaji would tell us excerpts from Ramayana, leaving us to decipher the meanings of the incidents and to choose the path we would like to follow in our lives. My favorite excerpt was the construction of the bridge across the sea. Also, when Lord Rama is able to lift the bow.

When I was a few more years old, 'Home' was where we came back from school, had our lunch, had the afternoon nap before we went out to play. We would come back, do our homework, thrust down milk down our throats convincing mummy after every sip that another sip was impossible. Where we would pester mummy to make 'Maggie' when we would get fed up of eating vegetables and chapatis. Where we would wait for papa to come from office (all I knew about office was that it was a place where grownups go to do some work) and bring us gifts. Where we would have the dinner while watching TV. Where we would go to sleep.

When I was a few more years old, 'Home' was where we would drop in when we were not in college, or freaking out with friends. And when we were there, we would keep chatting with our friends on phone for hours, completely ignoring the mummy's words to put the phone down. Where we would study on the night before the exam till 3 in the morning asking mummy to wake us up at 5 and simultaneously praying to God to save us this time and that this would never happen again. Where we would eat mummy's puri aalo, kheer, kulfi, gulabjamun, halwa and every wonderful dish in the world. From where we would call papa every half an hour to remind him to come home early cause he had to take us out for a movie.

When I was a few more years old, 'Home' was a place I was going far away from. Far far away, to a place where I knew nobody, no friends, no relatives. Where I was leaving behind mummy, papa, my family.

And today, 'Home' is in my joys, my tears, my breaths, my steps, my body, my soul. I am a part of my home. Home is a living breathing entity. It is made up of people, incidents, stories, games, toys, hugs, sleep, arms, 'pathetic tasting' milk and 'delicious' maggie.

I miss you 'HOME'.

Nasiya Farsa

"Lazim tha ki daikho mera rasta koi din aur
Tanha gai kiyon, ab raho tanha koi din aur
Mit Jayega sir gar tera patthar na ghisega,
hoon dar pe tere nasiya farsa koi din aur"

Fate had it written that you wait for me many more days,
Why did you go alone, now stay alone many more days,
This head will blow away if it will not rub the stone at your feet,
So, I will bow at your grace many more days

Hey I got a 'B'

Just one month was left in my completing a year at Infy and boy, there are no words in the universe that can explain the anxiety that I was feeling. 'Anxiety', because I din't know the confirmation grade that I would be getting.

I had worked hard. I might not have done something exceptionally great but I had done many small small exceptional things. But the problem was: Would those be noticed, would those be remembered??? Well, the odds against 'yes' as an answer to this question were many.

I had worked under five managers, one of them out of the company now and two of them onsite. Who would stand for me? Who would convince the SPM that I deserved the better grade.

Actually it's not about grades, it's about the satisfaction you get when your efforts get noticed.

And I was damn sure that mine would definitely not be. Besides, the other ppl who were getting confirmed with me were also gud, and everything was relative. So... :-(

Then one fine day I got to know that Seema would be finalizing the list of ppl based on how they fare compared to each other. And I said to myself, shit man, she has worked with half of them and knows what good things they have done, but she has no clue about the good things done by me.

Then we had a meeting in which I was told my strengths and weeknesses. And lo and behold, Sandeep (one of my managers) said that I needed to put in more effort for knowledge sharing. And beleive me Sandeep I felt like giving you a punch in your stomach. (I hope Sandeep will forgive me for being so childish, but thats me :-)))

By this time I was convinced that my chances of getting a B were nill, none, '-infinite'; so I decided not to think about it and concentrate on other things.

But I am a human being after all. So, I came up with a list of all the arguements that I would place in front of my SPM when I get a C. And all the crap things that I would do.

Life moved on. I was prepared for the cruel reality that I will have to face in the first week of October.

On Sept 30, I was eating the stale pizza of Toot-C when I got a call from Debu. He said that the grades were out. At first I thought that he was kidding but then, Neha called and told me the same. She offered to see the grade for me but I refused as I wanted to see the grades myself (Yes, I am very very superstitious).

I thought I will finish that pizza and go to Infy. But the pizza just wont get down my throat. I threw it in the bin and got up to leave.

At that moment the last straw in me gave in. What was the point in going so far just to see the C grade. So I called up Neha, gave her my password and asked her to check my grade.

And she said 'Tera B hai' (yours is B). I thought I had heard it wrong so I asked her to repeat. And this time I thought she said it wrong. So I asked her to say it once again. And this time I thought she had seen it wrong. So I said, 'Arey kya keh rahi hai, theek se dekh' (What r u saying, see properly).

She said, 'haan haan tera hi dekh rahi hoon, its B'. I screamed with joy and boy, was it loud. It was total numbness and ecstasy. My effort had not gone wasted. And a mile long smile got pasted on my face. My mind stopped thinking. It was complete bliss.